When the Head denies connection to the Heart
Denial is a protective mechanism that helps us get through a crisis.
Emergency services workers dealing in crisis situations are trained to stay focused on the job. They must get through it as safe and effectively as possible, to ensure their well-being and that of the people around them, no matter the incident.
Similarly, women dealing with abortion go into crisis mode to deal with the internal and external factors going on around them – I’ve got to have this abortion, get it done and get to the other side. Then it will be over.
I shut down completely two days before walking into that clinic. I was effectively a solid block of concrete emotionally for next 12 years.
(Dione)
The difference, emergency service workers involved in crisis incidents receive debriefing, counseling and ongoing support following their ordeal, because it is studied that people must explore their feelings when dealing with a crisis and unresolved issues. All too often, the post-abortive woman does not.
Unfortunately, research shows that at least 10% of women who come out of the abortion clinic establish the wall of denial to enable them to deal with their experience. Otherwise, they may not be safe, they may suicide. I’ve had an abortion; it didn’t affect me. Not unlike war zone trauma, they come out and feel safe – then the dreams, flashbacks and other episodes begin. The woman will suppress the memories and some will deny the abortion even took place.
“… I didn’t really comprehend the enormity of what I was doing at the time. I wasn’t prepared for the destructive aftermath to my life. The loss of my children – the loss of my dignity. If only I saw it sooner”.
(Erin, 33, Mining)
Denial associated with abortion trauma imitates a festering wound for sufferers, they can cover it up and leave it untreated for a time (months/years) – but underneath the wound festers and the contamination builds. Eventually, the trauma bursts out generally caused by a triggering event and often at inappropriate moments. The woman may aesthetically cover it up many times in their isolated cycle of trauma, over and over again, festering and bursting.
That is why abortion trauma healing is so important. When the woman deals with trauma, the contamination that is affecting her physically, mentally, and emotionally can be cleaned out. Sunshine and the light of day is a natural remedy for healing a wound. Exposure to the pain associated with the abortion experience through personal and professional support, will naturally lead to healing.
